User blog:Fedora Lord Para 348/ParaGoomba348's Reviews
Hey, it's me, the creator of Dragon Ball 16 and the author of Cell and Frieza Go Camping. I am going to be reviewing stories here, and will be joining other users who do reviews. Some things about my reviews: *I review all kinds of stories, I will not deny any request you send. *I will not curse in any of my reviews, but I might say "crap" off and on. *To be fair, I will not say things like "You are a bad writer" or "You are an amazing writer" just from reviewing one story. I will have to read other stories. *I am not biased, so I don't make it a con because of who the story is about (but I might make it a pro), the chapter titles, the character names, etc. *I also won't review my own stories. *This is the rating system for stories: **10: Worthy of Publishing. **9: Professional Quality. **8: Expert Quality. **7: College Student Quality. **6: High School Student Quality. **5: Junior High School Student Quality. **4: Elementary Student Quality. **3: Kindergarten Quality. **2: Kindergarteners can write better. **1: Never wrote before. **0: A troll probably wrote this. *This is the rating system for reviews: **10: Like the most honest person's ever. **9: Like a food critic's. **8: Like a book critic's. **7: Like a game critic's. **6: Like a movie critic's. **5: Like a TV critic's. **4: Like a kid's. **3: Like a disgruntled teenager's. **2: Like a music critic's. **1: Like a one-time-critic's. **0: Like a troll's. Reviews Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem Pros *It was about Kid Buu, a character not expanded much in the show. Very interesting indeed. *The Hell scene and candy shop scene were among the best scenes I've seen. *The fight with Buu and Uub was fantastic. *It had amazing word choices and grammar. *All of the characters are in-character. *The details were so great, I had a picture of the whole thing in my head. *The fact that this story has a villain as the protagonist deserves a pro. *It was interesting and fun to read. *The poem at the end was a work of genius, by far one of the best poems I've read. *It didn't focus too much on Goku's strength as much as it did on Uub's, so that was interesting. *It seemed like something that Dragon Ball Z would actually air on TV. Cons *I think that the first chapter was too much like what actually happened in the show, but that's okay. *Baba's early dialogue was a bit OOC, but not that much. Closing Comments This story is by far one of the greatest on this site. If you read it, you will not be disappointed, and if you don't read it, you are missing out. It is one of the stories here that is so great, I might read it again. KidVegeta is an amazing writer (yes I have read some of his other stories! I can say this) and I look forward to reading more of his works. Rating: 10 Dragon Ball T Pros *Ends quickly. *At least gives an example of what NOT to write. Cons *I know that this was trying to be a work of satire, but you're not parodying anything. *It's a big ripoff of Dragon Ball KC. It's not as good either. *It reads just like Supersaiyian11's other stories, which are just as bad. *At one point you brought a whole bunch of crossover characters in, which is stupid because that's taking a joke too far. *If you're trying to give people an example of what NOT to write, show them one of your other stories. *The whole Super Saiyan Whatever thing is a joke that's been overused many times. I don't need to hear it again. *"shenron eats trunks and turns into godzilla." That is one of the worst lines I have ever read. Bar none. *Porunga crying over Shenron is ridiculous. *Bringing characters from Death Note, a SERIOUS anime, is ridiculous. *It's neither funny nor creative. *Batman comes in and dies? Really, do you consider that funny? Because I don't. *You will never actually laugh at this story. Ever. Well, you might because it's so terrible. *almsot every part of the story reads exacly like this its terrible adn liek a troll wrote it Closing Comments The story is very terrible indeed, and isn't even a good work of satire. It's not funny, it's not a parody, and I do not plan on reading such an abomination again. Never before have I actually seen a story that looked so much like a troll wrote it, but Supersaiyian11 managed to do it. He has written several bad stories before, and I don't plan on re-reading them. But it did do its job: It gave readers an example of what not to write. Rating: 0. I hope you're happy. Where'd You Go? Pros *By far one of NomadMusik's best works. *Grammar works out nicely. *It was about Goten, which was nice since he doesn't have much backstory. *All the characters seemed in-character. *The fact that it is a good one-shot deserves a pro. *The fact that it captured Goten's wondering of his dad seemed to work out nicely. *The birthday scene at the end was good, especially the whole magic thing. It was just so... childish, which Goten is a child. So it was very fitting. Cons *Kind of boring and dull when Goten was over at Trunks' house. *Pretty much all of the scenes could have been expanded more, especially when Goten was over at Trunks' house. *The whole part explaining the whole Trunks' house cycle was lazy and could have been turned into an actual scene. *It probably would have been better if it was chapter-based as opposed to a one-shot. Closing Comments NomadMusik has gotten a bad rap on this site for his stories. While he's not nearly as bad as some other people, he's not the best on this site. This story, however, is one of, if not his, greatest work ever. For a one-shot, it's very great and interesting how it built up on Goten's backstory. While I wish this was a bit longer, I applaud NomadMusik for making this story. Rating: 7 Dragon Ball: Yami Pros *Eh... Grammar's better than most of Supersaiyian11's stories. *A Yu-Gi-Oh and Dragon Ball Z crossover is very interesting. Cons *Not detailed at all; I had to infer most of the images in my head. *It relies much too heavily on coincidence. It was all coincidence that Vegeta released Bakura from his control. And about the whole Uub-pyramid thing. *A pyramid collapses on Uub and he comes out wearing 6 of the millennium items? Give me a break. *Vegeta is OOC. He wouldn't train under anyone, and that includes King Kai. *Wouldn't you have to be dead to see King Kai? *At this point, Uub is alive, which means that the Kaio-ken technique has been outclassed. There's no need for Vegeta to learn it. **Being able to surpass Goku doesn't count. Vegeta's smarter than that, he doesn't need to learn Kaio-ken to surpass Goku! **Also, if Vegeta learned Kaio-ken just to surpass Goku, then that is ridiculous, because King Kai wouldn't teach it to him just so he could finally be stronger than Goku. *The whole end fight was horrible. I mean, did they have to use duel monsters to defeat him? *About Yamcha "Firing" a Wolf Fang Fist. Uh, it's a physical attack. He can't fire it. *Bulla can't use Kamehameha because she doesn't practice her Saiyan abilities. *Grammar is still really poorly done. *While the concept sounds good on paper, when executed, it's a mess. It could have been much better. *Goku wouldn't use a Spirit Bomb on Vegeta. It's a finishing move and he promised King Kai he wouldn't use it unless he had to, which he didn't have to. *If Yami is Japanese for "Darkness", he shouldn't be the ruler of heaven. *Goku turning into Yami? Give me another break. *Now Vegeta turning into Bakura? You owe me 3 breaks now. *The whole story is uninteresting. *I rolled my eyes at the whole thing. *The fight with Zorc at the end is the worst scene I've ever read on the wiki. Closing Comments This story is among one of the worst stories I have ever read. Unlike Dragon Ball T, which I laughed at because it was so horrible, this was so bad I was disgusted with it. Really, though, this could have been the original Dragon Ball T, if you weren't serious about the whole story. I think that if you read this, you might be a completely different person, so BE WARNED! Or don't read it. Rating: 0 Depiction in Red Pros *Astounding word choices and details. *Expands on Chi-Chi's character. *It is a very poetic story indeed. *Good spelling and grammar. *An interesting story unlike any other I've read. *It was actually a good thing that it was a one-shot. *Chi-Chi and Gohan are in-character. Cons *It was a bit disgusting. *What time period does this take place in? *I'd hope blood doesn't actually taste that good. Closing Comments Depiction in Red is an amazing one-shot that I'd love to re-read. Unlike Where'd You Go?, which has lazy descriptions, this story was nowhere near lazy and was one of the most descriptive stories I've read. I imagine this as a allegorical poem, and it would definitely work as one. I really loved this story and after reviewing the horrendous Dragon Ball T and Dragon Ball: Yami, this was a warm welcome. Rating: 9 Tien: Origins Pros *Very original, interesting story. *Expanded on Tien's backstory, which is interesting, because he has almost none. *You took Tien's character and gave him a backstory, a name for his race, and his origins. And it feels perfect. *The battles were very detailed and descriptive. *It was a fun story to read. It was serious at the right parts and fun at the right parts. *The poems throughout the story are truly amazing, especially the one at the end. *Although the chapter titles are named after song lyrics, they fit quite nicely. *All characters are in-character, except maybe Chiaotzu. *It had correct spelling and grammar. *Word choices were really good. *You explained everything at the end, which I'd wish more people did. *It is by far one of the best crossovers on the site, even if it is minor. *I HATE swearing with a passion, so luckily it was only used when it felt right. *The whole drunk Yamcha scene was golden and one of the best scenes I have ever read. Cons *Chiaotzu was a bit brutal during the fight scene, but it wasn't that bad. *The whole format is inconsistent. It was confusing at times. *Changing the font color was unnecessary. I don't see why you did that. *The whole past, future, past thing is a confusing paradox. Closing Comments This story definitely deserves its spot as one of the featured stories. Although the story format got a little inconsistent, it wasn't that bad and I was still able to follow along. The whole thing with the Bekks worked out quite nicely and it gave Tien origins that fit very well and I was surprised with how well they fit. I really want this to be turned into part of the show and aired on TV, because it would be great! Rating: 9 Goku Vs. Uub Series Pros *It had decent grammar and occasionally decent spelling. *Action-packed. *I guess there was... a bit of humor in it. *I kind of did enjoy the chocolate scene. Cons *All four parts are mind-numbingly short and it could have been just one story, but it still would have been short. *On some occasions, bad spelling. *Super Duper Kamehameha. *Chocolate Beam Kamehameha. *Goku catching a Kamehameha. *Goku is OOC. *Uub is OOC. *Goku going Super Saiyan 4 against Uub and then choking him to death is OOC and ridiculous. It's not even funny if that's what you were shooting for. *It's four parts on just one scene that isn't really that great. *Why would Goku want to be sadistic like this and just start killing people he knows and loves? *Goku wanting to kill Uub for not killing Goku is painfully OOC. Goku isn't Frieza, Vegeta, Dr. Gero, or Babidi. He wouldn't just kill someone for not killing him, especially someone like Uub. *Goku didn't even feel sorry for Uub after killing him! That's really ridiculous. **Being able to revive him on the Dragon Balls doesn't count. Rather than have him go and look for them, he just goes and fights Vegeta! You made Goku a jerk! *Although it was loaded with action, it was boring. Very boring. *This story also isn't very original. We've seen the Hyperbolic Time Chamber and Goku fight Uub before. The plot and backstory are nothing special. Closing Comments When I first saw the name of this story, I thought that it would either be two things: That A. it would be a work of genius or B. that it would suck. And it was definitely B. The story takes a humorous approach, but there is no humor template and it's not even funny. The characters are drastically Out of Character and it's frustrating to Dragon Ball Z fans. Jimmykiller9 claims it's not canon, but it's no excuse for having this much OOC. Although I see potential, as it stands, it is a mess. Rating: 3 Matrixpretty Reviews Okay, so this is the first review blog I have ever reviewed. Here goes. The review blog takes a nice approach, with a very fair rating system, from 1 to 10, like mine. I really think that all of the ratings are fair, mature, and not confusing. Now, for the actual reviews. He has only reviewed three stories, but he has reviewed them in such a terrible manner. He only points out the trivial information and doesn't even review the things that make a story a story. His pros and cons are not insightful and not helpful. To make the story better after one of his reviews, just change a few things up and he'll give it a 10. Yes, from what I've seen, he'll ignore the big issues and complain about things bothering him that are incredibly irrelevant. First, his pros. These are his pros for Dragon Ball: Namekian Wars: *Created Characters Nice! *Love how you made a human beat Namekians and not just another. *Human and Saiyan Friendship When reviewing a story, you should say things like "Has good grammar", "Expands on ______'s character", or "The fight between ________ and ________ was amazing" but he chose to say some really pointless or confusing things. The only valid pro is "Created Characters Nice!" which sounds really stupid and immature, a better thing to say would have been "You created original characters" or even "Original characters". Then "Love how you made a human beat Namekians and not just another" is confusing and I don't even know what it's supposed to mean. I don't know what you meant to say there, but I know it was probably pointless, like his other pros. Then "Human and Saiyan Friendship" is just really ridiculous. I mean, we've seen that before and I don't care if you like it, it's not a valid pro and it doesn't help the writer at all. Next, his cons. These are his cons for Prince Vegeta Saga (The Forgotten) *About PL's, Vegeta's PL is 1500 and Ledas is 1300. Broly had a PL of 1000 and King Vegeta said he would uprise them, probably meaning they had lower. Idk. *Why is it called Prince Vegeta Saga, if Ledas is mentioned all lot of times. Once again, trivial and pointless information that helps the writer in no way at all. When telling people about the ways a story is bad, you obviously need to say things better than "Vegeta's PL is 1500 and Ledas is 1300 and Broly had a PL of 1000 and King Vegeta said he would uprise them, probably meaning they had lower. Idk." About that con, I HATE how you abbreviated "Power Level" and I hate how you said "Idk". Text-speak is for texting and chatrooms, not for reviews. It is childish and immature, and I don't know why you would do that. That con is also invalid, because it doesn't affect the story in any way, and once again, it's confusing and I don't know what you mean by that. It's unhelpful to the writer and will not allow him to change his story for the better in any way. Then his second con is even worse. "Why is it called Prince Vegeta Saga, if Ledas is mentioned all lot of times." Really? Because Ledas is MENTIONED a lot of times? Why is Sonic the Hedgehog called Sonic the Hedgehog if Tails is mentioned a lot of times? BECAUSE IT FOCUSES ON SONIC!!!! SAME WITH THIS STORY!! That is not an actual con, and it is not insightful in any way. Finally, his review of Depiction in Red is his worst. Depiction in Red is by FAR one of the best stories I have ever read on this site, and he went and gave it a 7. Why? Because Chi-Chi sounded emo and didn't tell Gohan to study. Wow. What a review. Helpful isn't it? No, it's not. Then he says that it MAYBE has good spelling and grammar. "Maybe" is not good enough. It has astonishing grammar and spelling, and astounding word choices. He blew off everything good about the story and said it was average just because Chi-Chi sounded emo. I do agree that she does, and that it is a bit disgusting, but really, it is not helpful because you dropped the writer down one number grade for such a minor con. Closing Comments While this is not at all the worst review blog on the sight, it is not helpful at all and I probably will never see a good pro or con, no matter how many stories he reviews. It's all the same and he will just ignore all the story's strong points/shortcomings and then give it a bad/good review. It's mind-numbing, terribly written, and won't help you if he reviews your stories. Rating: 1 Dragon Ball Z: King Vegeta the Super Saiyan Pros Honestly none. Cons *Really bad dialogue, grammar, and spelling. *It's bad from the start. "AAAAHAH I CAN'T BELIEVE FRIEZA KILLED ME" is one of the worst bits of dialogue I have ever read. *Incredibly short. *It says that King Vegeta begins transforming, but you never say he transformed. I know you thought that it would look like he transformed, but did he keep beginning to transform to fight Frieza? Or did he actually transform? You could have said, KING VEGETA BECAME A SUPER SAIYAN!!! At least then it wouldn't have been ambiguous. *REALLY bad time transitions. *Even worse fights. *The whole story was supposed to be about King Vegeta becoming a Super Saiyan, but that part was painfully short. *All you ever had characters do was have them rush unto each other. Real original! *Really bad descriptions, too. I had no idea what was going on or where they were. I knew they were in Other World, but where? *What doesn't make sense is why King Vegeta and Bardock, two heroes, were in the same part of Other World with Frieza, Zarbon, and Dodoria, two villains. King Vegeta and Bardock should be in Heaven and Frieza, Zarbon, and Dodoria should be in Hell. *It was hard to read because it was so poorly written. How am I supposed to read a hard-to-read story that's not well-written? *BOOOOOOOOOOOOORING. *The fact that it's poorly written and not by Supersaiyian11 warrants a con. Closing Comments This was not at all a good story. It was really watered-down, boring, and pointless. There were absolutely no pros in this and it almost resembled something Supersaiyian11 would have written. Bad dialogue, bad story, bad... everything. At best, this story is a 1, but at worst, it's a 0. So which one? Rating: ......0 To be reviewed *Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten by KidVegeta *Dragonball NV by Gotek *KidVegeta's reviews *Sonik's Reviews *Dragon Ball DA: War on Earth by Princeofallsalads *Dragon Ball DA by Princeofallsalads *Dragonball Z 2.0 by Supersaiyian11 *Dragon Ball:Adventures by 99.67.112.19 *Slaved by Brady Patrick *Dragon Ball Multiverse: The Origin of Nameko!!! by Supersaiyian11 *Pig Out: Who can eat the most, Goku or Naruto by Goku484 Miscellaneous Thoughts *My favorite story so far is Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem. My least favorite is either Dragon Ball T or Dragon Ball: Yami. *My favorite scenes so far are Babidi beating up Buu in Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem, Buu stealing candy in the same story, and Yamcha getting drunk in Tien: Origins. My least favorite scene is the fight with Zorc in Dragon Ball: Yami. *Both of Supersaiyian11's stories reviewed so far got a 0, the worst possible score. *I think that Tien: Origins is the fiction I have read so far most likely to make it to television. *The only writer I have ever reviewed more than one story by is Supersaiyian11, who is arguably the worst on the site. *My favorite writer on the site is KidVegeta. My least favorite is Supersaiyian11. Category:Blog posts